Before we start to explore on how to stop worrying and start living, let us check the literal meaning of the word worrying:
causing anxiety about actual or potential problems; alarming.” Source: Oxford.
Now with this, we can understand that, worrying is an anxiety about an actual or potential problem.
Further, let us check how we can define a potential problem?
May be, it is about how mind perceives a situation to be a potential problem.
(We will together question and understand how the emotion of worry works and then learn how to stop worrying)
Further, mind’s perception can be right or wrong? Isn’t it?
If we steep in deeper, somewhere it is understood, that mind is not afraid of the situation, but the outcome.
Since the outcome is mostly uncertain, mind perceives it to be a potential problem.
Moreover, this is not how all the mind works. But, majority of our mind works this way.
Understanding why we worry?
So one thing is clear from the above research, that mind worries due to a potential problem or an uncertain outcome.
For instance, Ria is going for an interview and she is highly tensed/worried and is nervous as well. Now let us analyze why she is worried. May be because of the uncertain outcome thought and that is ‘whether she will be hired or not?’ or may be she is terrified whether she will be able to answer all the questions of the interviewer.
Further, to sum it up, everything said here is a thought about an uncertain future. Where Ria’s mind is creating imaginative doubts about a future that is always uncertain.
Here, there is a possibility that Ria will not be hired, but there is also a probability that she will be hired.
And, Ria’s mind chose ‘what if she is not hired’, mind could have chosen ‘what if she is hired’. If that was the case, then she would have been very confident, instead of being nervous.
But, mind, by default, chooses the negative part. It is not that we can’t train it otherwise.
Before we proceed on how to stop worrying, let us understand if there are any side effects of worrying.
What are the side effects of worrying?
Worrying is an emotion, and like any other emotion it is neither good nor bad.
In other words, it is just an emotion, and we humans have a different combination of emotion which comes and goes.
But the problem is, we get too attached to an emotion and with all the corresponding thoughts. To know more about corresponding thoughts, read – Stop Overthinking.
Also there are some ‘worry emotion’ that helps us to be more productive. For instance, students get this emotion prior to the exams. And this emotion helps them to study more. So in such scenarios just observe how the worry emotion helps them to become extra productive.
If you observed the above scenario, the emotion came from a real situation, that is exams.
Let’s take another example; A Mother is worried about her daughter who has gone out to her friend’s place. Her daughter had assured her mom that she will be back by 10pm. But her mom started to worry from 9pm, as her daughter never went out so late.
Now, in this scenario, mother is worried not because of a real situation.
That is to say, She is worried because of her own imagination and web of thoughts.
These web of thoughts are the ‘what if’ questions.
Further, we have learnt from my blogs that every thought is a vibration or energy.
And while we have these worrying thought based on imagination of ‘what if thoughts’, we send out a message to the universe.
In other words, you attract negative situation in a perfectly fine moment just because of this worrying habit.
So be very clear, while this worrying emotion attacks you, whether it is based on real situation or on imaginative ‘what if’ thoughts.
How to stop worrying?
Back to the very important question that is how to stop worrying and start living. Since we have understood that the emotion of worry can based on two situations either real or imaginative.
1. If, it is based on real situations, then we should just observe how the emotion is creating a chemical imbalance for us to work harder.
But what many of us do is, instead of observing and taking action accordingly, we end up running away from it.
For example, I have seen students sleeping or watching TV more during the exams because they wish to chill as they are worried and can’t face this situation.
Moreover, running away from that emotion is not the solution. Instead, be aware and observe and enjoy the process of how the body and mind pushes itself to work more hard.
Understand these 2 stages thoroughly.
2. If the worrying is based on imaginative thoughts, then we should first do some probability research.
Let’s take the above example of mother worrying for her daughter.
Mother was worried because of her own fantasy thoughts that her daughter would be in trouble as she never went out so late.
With the above said probability research, there is 1 in 1 million chances of her daughter getting into a problem. So, relax!
So if you fall in this category of ‘worrying based on imaginative thoughts’, then you need to first do a probability research.
And secondly, also understand that every thought is a vibration or energy. Further, it influences things to happen.
So in the above example, if the daughter doesn’t have a strong consciousness level, then there is a huge possibility that the mother’s thought(vibration) would influence negative situation to happen with the daughter.
That is to say, with this kind of worry, mother is not doing any good, instead she is attracting bad situation for her daughter.
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So the solution here is, when this kind of worrying thought impacts you. Instead of worrying, you can repeat these words “Everything is perfectly fine”.
And Repeat this several times, so that your mind believes this with conviction.
Hope I was able to help. If you have any questions you can contact me directly, through the contact us page. I will try and reply to all your queries.
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